Trying to speak about The Mother holds back the Flood. I didn’t mention the pink band at the top, but I thought of Rudolf Steiner and what he had said about peachy pink and it’s deeply sacred associations. There were many things I could have said in my talk but did not.Partly the heat of the moment, my nerves, but also not feeling confident enough that I could adequately articulate what was in my heart .
In retrospect I wish I had mentioned the surge of joy I felt when I read the first 3 pages of Penny’s first draft of her essay. I experienced a deep and certain surge of energy; I walked around the house and garden, I wanted to jump up and down, I could hardly contain what I felt: – but I did, and it was like a great charge to my inner battery.
In the talk I also wanted to describe how my dogs behaved when my Father died. I was in his house with Frankie and Missis, just waking to a dark dawn when the telephone rang. It was 6 am and I knew it could only mean one thing. The nurse told me he had gone. It was too early to make any other calls so I returned to bed. Frankie curled up in the curve of my belly, and Missis Darling stretched out around my spine. They kept me warm with their cuddle, and helped me to feel less desolate.
Seeds need darkness to germinate. Inside our bodies it is dark but so alive and full of activity. I wish I had been able to describe what the rich darkness means to me. It is full of possibilities and it is where the light comes from. We need deep roots to grow tall strongly.